It's October. So many things happening, changing, and I don't mean the leaves, because if there's one thing about Phoenix, it's that the leaves don't change.
Joaquin's cousin is moving out of of my sister's house. We are happy, yet sad, about this. When Joaquin heard, he said, "Angelica's moving out? She can't move out, uh, uh, she's way too young!" When asked how old you have to be, he said, "Well, let's see, she's twenty six now, right? She needs to stay for four more years. Then she can move out." Like Ivan said, at least we know what we're in for.
Although they haven't asked recently, I know it's gonna come up again. About me working full time. I don't know why I'm holding out. I just can't commit but my guess is that I'll relent because, well, at least I've got a job. I'm off the rest of this week because I'm already a little burned out with the whole helpdesk thing.
My mother never said which holiday was her favorite, actually, she said she didn't like any holiday, but my guess would be Halloween. Mainly because she LOVED candy and she would go all out for trick-or-treaters when only a few would go to her house. That was alright though, because then she'd have candy, candy, candy, all the candy she desired. She liked the decorations too. Last year around this time, we were in Flagstaff and I remember she bought a halloween bowl and dishcloth from a little store downtown. I remember she had a hard time walking but she just kept at it, I don't think she complained once about it, heck, even I had a hard time keeping up and I did complain. My sister noticed though, and suggested she sit in a restaurant and have a beer while we wandered around to see if there was any more stuff we absolutely had to have...seems like such a short time ago.
Isn't it interesting that the stuff is still around while the person who owned the stuff isn't. What is most important in that equation? I thought about this because Ivan just broke one of my favorite dishes from a store called Rue De France, which is no longer, and it didn't really bother me, it just brought up those feelings about our stuff outliving us, and my mom...
Ivan is working days now. Its gonna take some time to get used to. It's been just Joaquin and I on weekdays for quite some time now. We've got our own routine.
One of my big concerns is what I'm gonna make for dinner because there are days where I'd just cook for Joaquin and I'd eat cereal or salad or something. A man doesn't like only salad sprinkled with pieces of chicken nuggests as an entree. We had Domino's Pizza for dinner tonight. Joaquin and I have NEVER ordered pizza delivery the entire time we've been on our own.
I cried tonight, Ivan thought it was because of the dish. I told him no, it isn't the dish. I still cry sometimes, he's just not usually here to see it and I don't usually write about it because it generally passes quickly. I have lots on my mind and even with my luck the past week, I'm just feeling that the universe is really out of wack and has been for quite some time. Is it ever going to feel "normal" again or is this what it's going to be like from now on?
Labels: "miscellaneous drama", everyday, in my head, memories, Mom, Oy