So It's Come To This
We are now holding trains hostage. If Joaquin doesn't do something we want, we either take one or refuse to give him one back.

He's in an ultra-challenging place right now and doesn't want to do a lick of...anything we want. This weekend our challenge was to buy him $50 sandals at StrideRite which he barely tried on and now HE WON'T WEAR THEM. We bought him a new booster seat and he refuses to sit in it. He truly thinks he's in charge. Sad thing is, he probably is. My beautiful baby boy whom we wanted so much...and I don't like him very much right now.

So, ALL the trains are in the closet right now but I don't think it's working.

Here's My Precious on a bus ride we took a mere weeks ago, at the beginning of March when the weather was a tad cooler! Seems like eons compared to the weather we're having now. Ninety-five degrees...yeowza! [Click image to see bigger]

"Let me give you some advice in life: Don't sell when it's already sold."*
Sadly, in addition to the daytime reality show that I wrote about earlier, I am hooked The Apprentice. It's so bad that I got goosebumps when they announced the last episode of The Apprentice was live. That was just what I was hoping for and thinking about before the show started. Man, I should be in the TV biz. Contrary to what this may indicate, I do have a life...really.

*From The Apprentice Week 11. Ten year old executive producer of the Ferco Brothers Tiger and Illusion show.

An Eye For An Eye
I pulled Joaquin's hair.

Just like my Momma used to do to me, but for a different reason. He pulled mine first.

I wasn't mad when I did it. I just wanted him to know what it felt like. So that if he ever wanted to do it to someone again, he'd think about the pain. He didn't like it at all, started bawling like a three year old. We'll see if it worked. I highly doubt it.

Sometimes I think "an eye for an eye" is a good idea. The people who spray paint their gangland graffiti on walls...punishment = spray paint "idiot" across their foreheads and make them walk around. You wanna shoplift something...punishment = take something they worked hard to get or mark them as a shoplifter so they get extra attention when they go places.

I came across this site the other day that suggested one of the best forms of punishment is both "noxious" but "beneficial." The author suggests using exercise as a form of punishment because doing jumping jacks or push ups in public is embarrasing (noxious) but beneficial (good aerobic). Hmm...Gotta go...I gotta teach Joaquin to do a jumping jack.

H E Double Hockey Sticks
We normally only go to the drive-thru when we get Taco Bell but Joaquin insisted that we "go get down" today. What do you think the restaurant manager thought when she heard Joaquin exclaim, "We're at Taco Hell, Mom!" when we walked in? Yep, that's what he calls it, Taco Hell. He sees a cup, it's Taco Hell. He sees a bell, its Taco Hell. He's not too far off, really, but I wouldn't say something that honest while in the establishment.

Joaquin was also intrigued by the garbage compactor. He would laugh everytime he heard the compactor say, "Thank You." And he would reply in turn, "No, thank you!" just like little Mac 'n Tosh, the gophers from the WArner Bros. cartoons.

I learned something while we were there too. Did you know the hot sauce packets have little quotes on them? I NEVER knew that! When did they start doing that? I think I want to be the Taco Bell Hot Sauce quote creator. "I never met a taco I didn't like." "Feeling Hot, Hot Hot." "But it's a dry heat." I can go on, but do you really want me to?

Here are some pictures from the evening... [Click images to see bigger]

HFMD
I got a flyer today. *Sigh*

It appears that two kids in Joaquin's class have it.

Circo Bilingual
Went to the "Bilingual Circus" today. I chuckle everytime I refer to it. I didn't want to go at first, don't know why, guess I thought it would be kind of lame. What's a bilingual circus? They were calling it "Circo de Food City." What's that about? Shouldn't it be "Circo de Ciudad de Comida" or something? Anyway, we went.

Joaquin didn't show very much interest, except for when they brought out the boxing kangaroo and the chinese dragons. Good thing we didn't pay to get in. Actually, nobody was paying. They all had vouchers. I wonder how they make their money. Daddy said it's by selling CLTs (our acronym for "crappy little toys") for $10 a pop.

I did a quick search on the Royal Hanneford Circus, which they kept referring to during the show, and was surprised to learn that the USDA does inspections on circuses and this one was cited for not providing adequate veterinary care among other things. Well, no wonder, if they don't charge. Actually, this seems to be the norm in circus environments. Ringling has been cited for similar incidents.

I am not anti-circus but you do feel for the circus animals. They had tigers, mini horses and Arabians, elephants, a kangaroo. And it made me particularly sad when they put the kangaroo back into a box that barely contained him right after the performance. Sad thing is that this would be the perfect opportunity for kids to get close to an animal because during intermission and afterward, they let the kids have elephant and pony rides. We didn't go into the arena since Joaquin wasn't interested and after reading that this is the circus that had the mad elephant, I'm glad we didn't.

Wow, didn't mean for this to be such a downer post. I mean it was the CIRCUS! With cotton candy and light-up toys and shiny costumes and stuff. I particularly liked the magician act where the lady changes costumes in a split second. She must have changed into eight or ten different outfits! That's my kind of act! I also liked the "World's Fastest Juggler." Daddy liked the scantily clad trapeze artists and aerialists.

Best part though must've been that there were NO CLOWNS (although Daddy said he did miss them). Hey, I know, maybe we should replace the animals with clowns. You could have sixteen clowns running in a circle while the horse trainer cracks the whip. Or, you could have clowns jumping through flaming hoops. Or the clowns can give the kids rides on their backs. Then everyone is happy!

And Grandma Trumps Mommy
And really, I thought I was having a bad day when my Bro calls to tell me that Grandma's purse was snatched. At the Home Depot. In broad daylight! Unbelievable! And what's worse, is that only a few weeks ago, she left her purse at a restaurant where it was taken, with $300 and the titles to her cars (long story). This time, $300 and the title to her car. Grandma has NEVER in all the years she's lived here, had her purse snatched. I think Ricki is right, Phoenix is bad.

Sickie Barometer
I just wanted to write that joaquin is a little sickie right now. Sneezing, coughing, 100 degree temperature started sunday. May be coinkydink but Tia was sick last tues when she stopped by, not that i'm blaming her or anything...Tia.

So it appears that Joaquin can only go a good week, maybe week and a half before catching something. I think I'm gonna have to take him to Dr. again and I'm worried because he can now only take one antibiotic at least until we go to see the allergist in April. I don't think I can wait til then.

Mommy can't stay home this week because we're short handed at work. His temp is back to normal but he's still got that cough. Aaaargh!

Mondays. The place to be is the DQ.
I'm basically always scared someone is trying to take Joaquin, steal him right from under me. So when a lady came by and smiled and said she was in love, my mojo rose. Was she just a nice lady or was she trying to take my baby? When she sat down at another bench and told my baby to come over because she had something for him and my baby did go to her! An absolute stranger! I watched intently, making plans for how I would foil her if she were to try something. I was bigger than her. She would have to knife me to try to leave with him.

Joaquin was definitely out to make friends. He talked with her, showed the buses to her, said he wanted to take one to the liberdy. Had her lift him to touch the tree, she probably only weight twice what he did. She gave him a dollar. Bought him a soda. She was one of the nicest people. I think. Kind of reminded me of Barb (Bart to Joaquin). She looked at me and said, "You are so blessed. This little man is going to be something. Take care of him." I guess I was looking really sad or something, because she then went on to tell me that "Whatever is on your mind, it will all work out okay." She just wanted me to know. I'm wondering what will work out okay. She said that there was usually something good in every bad thing that happens, if you look deep enough.

I can't remember her name. Micki or Ricki, something like that. She was definitely a talker. She said she didn't like Phoenix, the black people here were rude (she was African American) and that it wasn't a very friendly city. Definitely not a child-friendly city, she said, referring sadly to the guy who drowned a two-year-old. She was from a small town in Illinois. She was thinking about moving to Oregon. I agreed with her about the lack of friendly, but didn't mention that I thought she wanted to steal my baby, that I don't trust people, which is one of the reasons why I'm so quiet. Joaquin seems a better judge of character than I am.

She had a hard time leaving. I had a hard time getting Joaquin to leave. She said he made her day. After she left, Joaquin and I stayed until we saw the guy who comes to the DQ to buy his dog a vanilla cone. His dog, Edward, waited at the door, drooling until the guy came out with the ice cream. Ricki and Joaquin inspired me to get out of my comfort zone a little, so I made some small talk with the guy for a couple of minutes. Then they were off and we finally left feeling a little more cheerful because of a small conversation inspired by a lady at the Dairy Queen.

Miscellaneous Sunday
We went to church today per Joaquin's request. He wanted to see if we could find Sara (next door neighbor). I don't know if it was what he expected but he was pretty good. Daddy only had to take him outside once...and had to promise him the Chinese Dragon train. As Daddy is taking him out, I thought, great, now I'm going to have to be here by myself and I'm not even the one who wanted to come. It's a wonder the walls didn't implode with my thoughts.

I asked him if he wanted to go again. He said yes. When a Chinese Dragon is involved, who wouldn't?

~*~

We also bought a new vacuum today. We have an canister vac that someone gave me years ago and replaced it with a bagless upright. Gave it a test drive and have decided that we must make George bald. That, and he has to wear shoes now. He didn't seem to happy about either proposition.

~*~

This weekend, we did some impromptu cleaning and took a couple of bags of toys and clothes to Goodwill. Had to get the stuff out fast before I changed my mind.

~*~

And finally, we are reliving the 80s in our household. Joaquin just learned "Can't touch this, tun nun, nun nun" by MC Hammer. So, when Daddy says, "can't touch this," he finishes it up, no matter what he's doing.

You know you did it, George.
Today, Joaquin had a little talk with George (the dog). "George, no break the crayon, George. Why you break the crayon? That not nice George." Its hard not to laugh when you hear something like that.

I know why he wants to have a talk, it's because Daddy always wants to have a discussion when he does something wrong and I told him not to break the crayons. He hates "the talk" though, so it's interesting that he decided he had to have it with George.

George continued to deny any involvement.

Pick Me, Pick Me!
So we just got back from Target. We picked up a couple of shorts, t-shirts for Joaquin, added a Thomas train AND, at the last minute, Annie and Clarabel. We've been going about once a week to add a train to his collection. Even though he just got Breakdown Engine on Monday, it was actually part of last week's purchase.

As Joaquin is standing there trying to decide which ONE to pick, should it be Thomas or Salty or Chinese Dragon, I'm feeling really bad. I'm thinking, oh, why don't we just get them all for him. We can take out a small loan and get him all the Thomas stuff he wants and be done with it already. Enough with the agony! I remember being little and thinking, when I grow up I'm going to buy my kids whatever they want even though my MEAN Mom won't get me everything I want.

I know though, that this is teaching him something. I'm not sure what, exactly, maybe, the delay of gratification. Maybe the lesson is how to make choices or that Mommy and Daddy we really can't buy him everything. I don't know.

Still, as an act of defiance, I said "yes" when, at the last minute, he asked for Annie and Clarabel. That, and Target had me because it was the last one they had and I didn't know if or when they would restock. So there!

Summertime Fun
Why is it so hot? We went directly from Winter to Summer. We have our AIR CONDITIONER on! I'm hearing words like "ninety degrees" coming out of people's mouths.

On the way home today, I opened the car windows in the back seat. I'm guessing I've never done that before because I've never gotten that sort of reaction from Joaquin. He LOVED it. He laughed, said it was a little bit windy and threw up his hands like he was on a rollercoaster! When we stopped, he asked for more. Whee! Summer's Here Now. Yikes!

Oh, Yeah?
Some days Daddy has way more influence over Joaquin than I hope for:
Daddy, Wocki "mexiCAN," no "mexican't."
The poop comes out at night, the poop comes out at night...
I farted.
Whoo, woo, woo, woo (ala Curly from 3 Stooges)
Hoo Ters, Daddy.

But then, when he picks up two dozen roses at Costco and says, "Flowers, Mommy." I know I've got some influence too. "Mommy likes flowers."

Don't Forget To Practice...
A while ago, I wrote about practicing drawing everyday objects daily. I haven't really kept up with it. That's just like me, gung-ho one minute, not so much the next. I've started the yoga too. We will see how long that lasts.

This is my first everyday object drawing, a big wooden rooster in my kitchen. The reason I'm starting the book from the back is because I'm left-handed. Maybe that's while I read magazines from the back to front too.

Last night Mommy could've reallly gone for a hamburger.
Only problem is that we are in the lenten period so I couldn't. I guess you could call me a lapsed Catholic although I try to follow some customs like not eating meat on Fridays. Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful religion, full of rich customs, rules and mores, just like any good religion should be. I was lapsed before the abuse charges became public, before our previous bishop was found guilty of hit and run.

Still, I was surprised when my sister told me about her Ash Wednesday hostage crisis. She said her kids wanted to go to church. They don't go regularly, but thought, since it is Ash Wednesday...So she met them at church and her husband says, "I'm glad you made it. They were just going to shut the door and not let anybody in or OUT."

Turns out that the priest told them that if they aren't regular parish members, they "didn't want them there" and the doors would be closed and people were not to leave right after receiving the sacrament, only when mass was over. There was a lady in the back manning the doors. What the who-ha? If I want to leave, I'm going. It is called kidnapping, some people at the state prison are in a mess of trouble because of that. Plus, don't you think the church could use some support right now? I don't think that's the way to get it.

Friday Five
I like the Friday Five. It allows me to write some stuff that might be interesting to Joaquin when he's grown. Alright, I said might.

What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name?
Mrs. Pennington. I remember her being really, really tall. She had to leave early for maternity leave.

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
I always slept too late on Saturdays but was able to catch Fat Albert and the Looney Tunes sometimes.

3. ...the name of your very first best friend?
That would be Cathy. She was two years younger than I and lived two houses down, at 3225. She had a three sisters and a brother and I loved them all so much. They were good to us and her mother made the yummiest yeast bread. Cathy got married right out of high school. I don't remember her married name. I often wonder what they're all doing. I'm sure they have grown kids by now.

In school, my first best friend was Tricia. We were exact opposites. She was thin and dark and I was thick and lighter. I always thought of the Skipper and Gilligan when we were together.

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?
I think they were SUGAR Smacks, not Honey Smacks or SMACKS like they call them now. It was S-U-G-A-R!

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?
I used to like to play with 'Tricia or Cathy. We never all three played together for some reason. It was too weird, I think. Like worlds colliding. Was I two different people with each of them? Probably. But we used to be all over the neighborhood. It was fun. I'd also watch TV. When I got older, we'd spend most of the afternoon at school, sometimes until six. I don't know if it is safe to do the stuff we used to when we were young although it was refreshing to see a bunch of kids last night in front of their high school after some function so at least there's that.

Tom Jones, Eat Your Heart Out
So Joaquin went to the Dr. again on Thursday because he broke out in hives! Possibly an allergic reaction to yet another antibiotic. We were told that there is only one antibiotic they can prescribe now which is not a good thing. Now, he's going to see an allergist in April < sarcasm >Yea!< /sarcasm >. For now, it's stop antibiotic, give Benadryl, apply Aveeno liberaly.

I had to share this pic I took today because it just cracked me up. Joaquin put almost an entire box of tissues in his diaper. I'm not sure what he was doing but it must have felt good. Notice the SMILE in the picture? Yet another milestone, he's okay being photographed! (Click image to see bigger.)

Joaqui-bits
Joaquin is understanding nuances in speech and talking more than ever before. He's also becoming quite the comedian.

There's a Butterfinger commercial featuring Bart and Homer Simpson (or Sinson as Joaquin refers to them). Bart somehow gets the candy from Homer and Homer starts choking Bart while saying, "Why you little..." and you hear "Ack, ack, ack..." from Bart as he's being choked. Now we have this little kid trying to do the same to us, his parents. With sounds. We're not worried though, because after finishing Bart's line, he says, "Okay, that's enough Bart Sinson." (Daddy added that last part.)

Tia commented that she finds it funny that he refers to himself in the third person. Wocki wants candy, Wocki go play outside, etc. Mommy's not sure how to get him back into first person, maybe if I start to refer to myself as Me or I instead of Mommy. So, instead of me saying, "Mommy doesn't like that," I'd say, "I don't like that." Hmmm, no, don't like the sound of that, I want him to remember EXACTLY who doesn't like that. MOMMY!

Now that he's on his Thomas and Friends kick, he's trying to imitate expressions that James, Percy and the other engines make. Like the surprised look, or the contemplative look (those engines are deep) or the angry look. He goes over all of their names, colors and numbers as he's watching. It amazes me how one can learn so much from engines.

Mommy says, "Wocki, you so silly." He gets a kick out of that and responds, "Mommy's so silly," or sometimes, "Wocki's silly!"

I'm re-thinking the early intervention now. He's really doing so much better with speech, he recognizes several shapes, even diamond, colors, numbers (in the double-digits) and since he won't start kindergarten until he's almost six (because of the month his birthday falls in), I'm thinking he's going to be okay. I may at least talk to the school, but I'm feeling less worried about it all.