Oh, But There's More...

While talking to my sister today, I realized that I've forgotten my son's misfortunes brought on by August, 2007.

Only one week after he started school (in August), he got a cold. He found the "culprit," a little girl in his class. He got over it in a little over a week.

Then, last Wednesday, just as he was getting over the cold, he got what looked like pinkeye. A few days of antibiotic eye drops cleared it up.

And finally, right now he's got a small circle on his back that Nurse Diane diagnosed as ringworm!

I'm scared. Only twenty four hours, thirty-three minutes and 15 seconds until September. I hope we make it.

Beloved Weirdness

Joaquin loves me so much, he wants a "Mommy Doll," or a doll that looks like me. Is that weird? Ivan says don't do it. When Joaquin get's mad at me, which he does frequently, who knows what he'll do to that doll. With the weird happenings going on lately that we think might be voodoo related, well, he thinks, not good.

I'm just wondering. Is it strange for a six, almost seven year old, to walk around with a doll that looks like his mother? I just love seeing him care for his other little stuffed toys, especially Shammy, his little Sea World Orca. He tucks them in at night, he baby talks them when he first sees them, he kisses them. It's cute. With a "Mommy Doll" though, would that be weird?

Here's a prototype of the doll. I was just gonna print it on fabric, cut an outline and sew it up. Now, I'm not so sure. Funny thing is, put me in some socks, Mary Janes, a short dress and bloomers, and I'd actually look like that. Maybe I'll animate the face instead of using a photo so it only resembles me. Still contemplating...

Whaddaya Gonna Do?

Still around, August, 2007? I thought I told you to beat it.

The latest: Our air conditioning stopped again last night. I wasn't wasting time this time. I quickly called to see if a hotel room was available.

Ivan came home from work to have a look. Up on the roof at 8:00 (it's dark here by then), he finds a wayward wire had broken off. Ah ha! He was pretty certain he could fix it, but not until tomorrow. So Joaquin and I went to the hotel and he went back to work and met us at the hotel room at 1:00 A.M.

We got up early and he came home to fix the problem. Fix it, he did. It would've been a fine coup--had he not fallen off of the ladder. Now his back is all bruised and scratched from falling on one of Joaquin's toys and he's got a bump on the back of his head.

I know Ivan hates August, 2007 more than I, but he doesn't complain. Maybe because I do it enough for the both of us. I must admit though, that when I heard the news today, I put my face in my hands, shook my head--and laughed. It has reached the point of being ridiculous. I'm not putting out a challenge, but really, what's next, locusts?

I did ask Ivan who he made so mad that they put a curse on him. It wasn't me. I don't know voodoo.

I really should stop complaining and be grateful for the things we have and our usual uneventful existence.

I will.

In about two more days.

Mr. Bean's Holiday

Joaquin loved "Mr. Bean's Holiday" and choked from the laughter (and popcorn) at one point. Although we got the biggest kick out of watching Joaquin, it was a perfectly pleasant movie in a nonsensical sort of way. I have a feeling we'll be seeing it on DVD in the future as well.

I don't know the history of this character. I am curious about why Mr. Bean doesn't speak, but not curious enough to look it up.

Slapstick Humor

Joaquin was scratching my back today. He kept scratching one place and I wanted him to move around, so I said "Higher." His body moved, but he kept scratching the same place. I said it again, "Higher." Still, the same place. Hmm, I thought, maybe he didn't hear me. So I said it once more, a little louder this time. He moved and I looked down.

That's when I noticed him trying to balance on his tiptoes!

Bah hah! I coupled over in laughter.

My child, the slapstick comic.

Getting The Lead Out

For as long as I've known her, my friend, Pauline and her husband have tried not to buy stuff made in China. I chucked. Ivan hated when I came home from a store with a ceramic item that claimed, "Made in China." I scoffed.

Turns out they we right all along. This month, we've been besieged with reports of this item and that item, everything from bibs to toy trains, being recalled because they are tainted with lead paint or glaze or lead whatever. So, what are they trying to do, kill us?

What bothers me most is the American distributors who continue to insist these items be made so cheaply. We all know how inexpensive they are to make, yet we consumers pay hundreds of times more than the item cost to make. Like that Ty Beanie Baby dolphin that Joaquin had to have. It couldn't have cost more than a quarter to make and I ended up buying it for $5.00. Shameful. I'm sick of companies making the bottom line priority.

I told Joaquin that we won't be buying toys made in China. I think that's carrying it a bit far because it is very difficult to find CLTs* that aren't made there, but you'd better believe I'll be paying more attention and limiting our spending as well.

*CLT=Crappy Little Toy

Giving The FInger To August

I'm really hating people right now. I'm going around with a permanent scowl on my face and I know exactly how old people feel. Friends? Nobody's my friend. Everybody just wants something from me. Don't look at me, I may bite your head off. Grrr!

My sister says it's the heat. I hope she's right.

Is It Over Yet?

August has NOT been a very good month for us. I say us, but I actually mean Ivan. First, our home air conditioning broke. Ivan spent hours on the hot roof, during the hottest time of the year, trying to fix it. Then, my car started getting hot, way passed the midline point nearing closer to the red zone. I complained to Ivan about it.

This is when the real trouble started.

On the day that it got really bad, he insisted on meeting me at Joaquin's school to check it out, against my protests. We were having a heat alert but he wouldn't take no for an answer. On retrospect, I should have just left and dealt with the repercussions later. Anyway, he was checking the hoses in my car and it seemed like no water was getting through, so he went to feel the hose in his truck. When he pressed it, the hose burst, spewing boiling hot liquid and antifreeze all over him.

He got second degree burns and blisters on his belly and arm. It looked so painful but he didn't go to the hospital. He said it looked worse than it felt.

The next day, another excruciatingly hot one by the way, Ivan went back and tried to replace the hose himself. One of the parts that came with the hose replacement part he purchased didn't work but the old cap fit, so he used that. He got it working and drove it to work. Yea!

Then, the truck started overheating on his way home and it eventually stopped about eight blocks from home. He hoofed it at 2AM, woke early Saturday to get the truck and found that the passenger side window had been smashed in and the culprit (as Joaquin says) went through the glove box and took his work badge!

All I've got to say about the whole experience is: Okay, that's enough!

There is one question that's been burning in my brain though: Ivan, why didn't you just have it towed to the freakin' repair shop in the first place?!? I feel bad about everything he's gone through, so I probably will never know.

In the meantime, my car is still running hot, he researched it and figured out that it is because one of the fans isn't working. Fortunately, he's not going to attempt to repair that one himself.

How many days until the end of August?

If It Were Only That Easy

When we go to the store and Joaquin asks for something, we ask, "Do you have any money?" Of course, the answer is "No."

"Just use debit," he will say. We try to explain that you must have money in the bank to use debit and go on to tell him that he has to earn money. And we always emphasize earn.

Yesterday, he decided to earn some money. While I was cleaning the tub, he decide to handle the sink. He took the brush, started scrubbing (with the antibacterial liquid handsoap), then using a cup, he poured cup-fuls of water all over the countertop. Water everywhere! I had to step in with a towel to sop it all up.

When I was done, he took the towel from me and wiped the sink and finally announced, "I'm done. Now gimme money."

Liquids and Movies

I was so craving a Jamba Juice today but no chance to go, so I went into my freezer to get out the Kirkland bag of fruit I got at Costco, hmmm, probably a year ago. It came out great.

Ivan is healing from a bad burn caused by hot liquids from his truck spewing out at him on Thursday. He got a lot of blistering on his arm and a few on his belly. Fortunately, that was all.

It's really to hot to do anything here so in addition to trying to keep the plants alive, I've been watching a lot of movies on TV. I finally got to watch "Miss Potter". Everytime I went to the video store it was gone. I think they only had two copies. To describe it, I'd exclaim, "What a charming movie!" If I used the word charming. But it was charming, and sweet and sad too. I love the bits of animation. I believe I'd like to watch this again and again, so I think I'm going to have to add it to my collection.

To continue my adventures in Culinary Cinema, I watched "Eat Drink Man Woman." This story revolved around a man, a Chef losing his sense of taste(I know the feeling), and his three daughters, each of which brings an interesting announcement to one of his elaborate Sunday dinners. Next on my list, the remake, "Tortilla Soup."

Eccentricities Abound

I believe I will be an eccentric when I grow older. I can see I'm on my way.

I'm the one driving around with swing music blaring...
I'm the one asking the grocery store clerk to put my groceries back into the basket instead of bags.
I'm the one who wants an orangutan in a crown.

I figure it's okay. As long as I don't bother people, people won't bother me. Unfortunately, that doesn't always work. The other day when I took Joaquin to school, I parked in front of an older lady's home. On my way back to the car, I absentmindedly walked through the rocks in front of her house and she yelled at me. I'm not sure if that is city property or part of her property because a sidewalk separates it from her yard. At any rate, she keeps it neat, the grass is green and the rocks are tidy. I definitely didn't want to walk through the grass and was careful not to kick any rocks out but did she let me know she disapproved.

Have I mentioned that I hate Joaquin's new school? But I love that orangutan*.

*If you recognize him, he's from a Capitol One commercial.

Weird Behaviors

When cousin Angelica was little, she would howl when she was full. I always thought that strange behavior came from her father's side. It certainly couldn't be our side of the family.

Apparently, it is, because Joaquin has taken to howling when he finishes a big meal in the exact same way Angelica used to about twenty years ago. He stretches to the side, leans on one arm, lifts the other arm over his head and howls.

That's...fascinating. Isn't it.

Dinner And A Show

We all went out to dinner to celebrate Popo's birthday which was actually on the 8th. We had the pleasure of sitting at what Jonathan deemed, "The Cool Table." Jonathan talks a mile a minute. He entertained us, making us laugh with everything from movies, a play that he is in, to Homestar Runner episodes. So much so that he didn't even finish his dinner. When he'd stop to take a bite, Joaquin would ask him to tell some more jokes. Joaquin was listening intently. After one particular joke fell flat, Joaquin looked at me and said, "That's...very interesting. Isn't it, Mama." We busted out laughing and Jonathan proclaimed that "Everybody's a critic."

But, my favorite part of the night was when Joaquin was tipping a chair against my warnings otherwise. I said if you fall, everybody's gonna laugh at you. He was sort of intrigued by this. He likes to make people laugh. Tio E. said, no, we're going to sing if you fall, but Joaquin didn't catch that. So, he continued tipping the chair and did eventually fall to the floor. You should have seen the look on his face when Tio E., Gabriel and Jonathan broke into a chorus of the "Happy Birthday" song, which Joaquin hates! I wish I had it on film.

More SF Memories

Ivan stumbled upon an area in Alamo Square Park that had all these shoes filled with plants and thought I might enjoy it.

At first, I thought it was quaint and I began snapping pictures. However, after a few minutes of looking at them, it started to gross me out.

I don't know, the idea of a plant, possibly a relative of a fungus, growing so happily out of someone's old shoes made me worry about the ones I was wearing and what might be growing in them at that very second.

Art is so subjective.

Karaoke

I'm watching The Singing Bee on TV. A show where the contestants must finished the lines of songs being sung.

I'm really bad at it. Not only because I have a rotten voice, but because I don't listen to the words. My mantra is "its gotta good beat and you can dance to it."

I think that's why we like the duh commercials that are playing now. It's a Hyundai cars commercial, advertising the "Big Duh Sale." They have singers singing the word duh to different tunes, one of which is 2001: A Space Odyssey. Duhhhhhhhh, Duhhhhhhhhh, Duhhhhhhh, Duhhh, Duhh... We love them.

Tio E. does listen to words. I wonder if this is a guy thing. For example, he hadn't heard "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkley. When I played it for him, I could see him listening to words and shaking his head. Words? I rarely notice them. But now I know that, "I remember when, I remember when I lost my mind..."

Joaquin And The Mighty Fallout

Since Joaquin is being punished because of what happened yesterday and cannot play with his toys or watch his favorites on TV, I've been spending a lot of time in the children's sections of various libraries.

I got a movie called "The Railway Children" which was on Masterpiece Theatre in 2000. I watched it this evening and so enjoyed it. The acress who plays "Bobbie" is wonderful and I thought I recognized "Perks" who, turns out, also appeared in "Love Actually."

I also checked out the book, Ida B: . . . and Her Plans to Maximize Fun, Avoid Disaster, and (Possibly) Save the World for myself, but I saw so many teen and children's books that I wanted to read. I forced Joaquin to get "Walter The Farting Dog Goes On A Cruise," because I'm the mom and, "Hey, it's got a ship in it." Using the old noodle, that's what I'm doing.

I'm not so angry with my child anymore but his continued punishment included not being able to see Diane (who he loves) today. I said that if there was a way for me to stop playground time (which he also loves) for a week, I would. I was livid, I tell ya.

I don't know how long this punishment will continue. I'd like to keep it going, but I fear it'll lose its power if I do. It hasn't been so bad and we're actually doing positive things like cleaning his room but I try to remind him constantly why I didn't like what he did. When he says, "I wish I could play with my toys" or something similar, I say, "You know what I wish...?" He knows the answer because I've said it so much. He doesn't like it, but I keep saying, "I wish you wouldn't have been so rude to those ladies," or, "I wish you had written your name." That's why it's called punishment, baby.

Trying To Find That Happy Place

One of my favorite experiences in San Francisco happened at Alamo Square Park.

A butterfly lit (Alighted? Alit? Landed lightly.) on my finger. He/she was fluttering around near the kids and people on the playground for the longest time. Finally, I put my finger out and there it stopped.

I wonder who it was.

And You're A Brat

Crappity, crappity, crap!

Joaquin had his assessment at the Montessori school today and he absolutely refused to participate. Refused!

As he sat there, with his big bottom lip jutted out, head down and arms folded in defiance, I wanted to go and pull his hair and yell inches from his face, "You don't understand what you're doing! There's more to life than a big playground! Write your damned name!" Totally not the Montessori thing to do.

They just couldn't do the test so there is absolutely no way he's getting in this year. Too bad he made this rotten impression, because I know they'd love him there. Everyone does.

Ugh! I cannot bear the idea of him staying at his current school. I hate it and apparently, other parents hate it too because one of his classmates had the appointment before him. I'm certain that kid participated.

Maybe Joaquin will like military school better...

Your Mom's A Snob

You know you've lost your blogmojo when an event as important as this goes by un-blogged.

Joaquin started school on Monday! My baby, a first grader. He started at a new school but is still in the same Montessori program he was in last year. They're separate, but equal. The regular school kids wear uniforms, the Montessori kids don't. It's weird. His association with the original Montessori school is more limited than it was when they were at the previous location, yet you can see they are not part of the community at the new school either. Like kids without a country.

For the record, I don't like it. I'm not motivated to get involved at all. My child doesn't have a teacher yet because she is still in training. The school is big (over 500 kids) and ugly and our well-behaved kids are mixed in with the wild kids. Today I saw four of the Montessori kids at aftercare quietly sitting to one side of the cafeteria while the other rowdies garnered the bulk of the staff's attention. Ugh! I will attend the first PTA meeting, just to hear how others feel. Revolt!

Joaquin? Well, he loves it! He feels very comfortable there. When I asked what he likes, he said, "I love the playground and I love Diane." (Diane, a cousin, is the school nurse). Not like, love. These things are important to him. I must admit that Diane is on the positive side of the yea/nay list for me too and I do like the Montessori teachers that are there because they are the same ones who were at his other school. They are great, caring people. I feel like I know them, but is it enough?

I don't want to make a rash decision and leave too early but we've got an appointment with a Charter Montessori school. A Charter school, the type of school I previously (hypocritically) said I'd never send my child. It is small, there is only a little play structure and no Diane, and we don't even know if there's a spot available, but it's small, has an excellent reputation and the kids consistently score WAY above average (excelling) in the state assessment tests. We're going to see what happens.

I think it used to be easier to send your child to school, a public school around the corner or a private school. Now we have private schools, charter schools and public school open enrollment. It's nice to have all of these choices for better education, but at times, it's overwhelming!